


Panicked Memories

by spectralOasis



Category: Original Work
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Panic Attacks, nonbinary characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 17:00:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6123310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spectralOasis/pseuds/spectralOasis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Easing open the door, Emery carefully stuck their head out to glance around the empty hallway. The hall light was on, causing them to squint painfully. They didn’t notice anything out of place at first until their eyes happened to land on the open door to Mortemer’s room. ‘I wonder if Morte heard anything through their door…’ they pondered before a memory floated, unbidden, to the surface of their thoughts. It was short, just a snippet of something Mortemer mentioned once, but it was enough to send an icy wave of fear through Emery’s body. <em>"Yeah, I’ve had some pretty odd things happen to me so now I always make doubly sure to sleep with my door closed!"</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Panicked Memories

**Author's Note:**

> i've been working on this for so long hoPE U GUYS ENJOY ANGSTY PALS

Emery blinked their eyes open blearily, sitting up before glancing around the darkened room. Something had jarred them awake, they just couldn’t quite put their finger on what. They stilled as they heard the noise that woke them again, a light rasping sound that almost seemed to end in a sort of strangled squeak. Cautiously, they slipped out of bed and dropped to a crouch. Keeping an eye on the door, Emery felt around until they hit the edge of the textbook they had been reading earlier that night. They looked down at it sleepily before dropping their head into the side of the bed and letting out a quiet groan. _‘Whatever’s out there probably isn’t going to be scared off by my homework, no matter how confusing physics might be,’_ they thought before the gravity of the situation hit them again and they shot a furtive look at the closed door, beyond which the sounds could still be heard. Emery pushed themself up off the floor with the help of the bed and after taking a deep breath to collect their jumbled thoughts, moved towards their bedroom door.

Easing open the door, Emery carefully stuck their head out to glance around the empty hallway. The hall light was on, causing them to squint painfully. They didn’t notice anything out of place at first until their eyes happened to land on the open door to Mortemer’s room. _‘I wonder if Morte heard anything through their door…’_ they pondered before a memory floated, unbidden, to the surface of their thoughts. It was short, just a snippet of something Mortemer mentioned once, but it was enough to send an icy wave of fear through Emery’s body. _“Yeah, I’ve had some pretty odd things happen to me at night so now I always make doubly sure to sleep with my door closed!”_

Their rooms weren’t very far apart, there weren’t any other rooms separating them, just a short stretch of wall. Emery’s grip tightened on their textbook as they listened hard to tell which end of the hallway the sound was coming from. After determining it was coming from the opposite direction, Emery made a break for their friend’s room. Slipping inside, they hugged the wall next to the door to minimize their chance of being seen and frantically looked towards Mortemer’s bed. It was empty, the blanket haphazardly thrown across the bed like someone had struggled out of it. “Oh shit, no…” they gasped, worry for their friend temporarily taking control of their panic response. After a moment, they managed to tamp down the fear. _'No, if you’re gonna find out what happened, you’ve got to keep a cool head right now,'_ Emery whispered fiercely to themself. _'You still don’t know what that noise is. Everything’s probably fine, you’re just overreacting.'_ Steeling themself, they turned back towards the door and moved down the hallway towards the source of the noise.

It only took them a few moments to find the door that separated them from the source of the noise. Emery rested their head against the wall, taking deep, calming breaths before forcing themself to move to the door and slowly open it. They gasped as they quickly took stock of the room’s contents. It was mostly empty, the roommates had decided to use it mainly for storage but they didn’t have enough stuff to really have need of it yet. There was one thing out of place though, a dark shape sitting roughly in the middle of the floor. It was immediately obvious that this was the source of the noise though that didn’t explain why it almost seemed to be convulsing. Emery blinked at it in confusion, finding it somewhat odd that their entrance didn’t seem to have been noted at all by the odd figure. After a moment of deliberation, they reached for the light switch and flicked on the lights. Barely a second passed before they dropped to their knees beside the figure they could now clearly place as their friend. “M-Mortemer? Are you okay?” they asked, trying to keep the fear out of their voice as they reached out to touch Mortemer’s shoulder. As soon as the tips of their wing got close, Mortemer all but wrenched themself away, scrambling back until they reached a wall. They made a short, high-pitched screech as they plastered themself as close to the wall as possible, looking up at Emery with wide, heavily dilated eyes. “Morte?” Emery asked, confusion lacing their words as they realized Mortemer didn’t seem to recognize them. “Hey, come on now, it’s ok. You know me.” they murmured gently, extending their wing again to their panic-stricken friend. **_“No…”_** Emery startled at the rasp of their friend’s voice echoed in the back of their mind. With Mortemer’s general lack of a mouth, they had warned Emery in advance that communication would mostly be telepathic but that didn’t stop Emery from jumping every time they weren’t expecting it. Mortemer’s unsheathed claws dug into the skirt of their dress as they stared at Emery, eyes still showing no recognition. **_“N-No, all my friends died decades ago. I swore I wouldn’t let myself get that close to another mortal after that.”_**

Emery’s worried look changed to one of confusion as they cocked their head. “I don’t understand, Mortemer. What are you talking about?” Mortemer’s eyes flickered back down to the ground, dimming slightly as their body accounted for the energy the panic response had taken from them. **_“You don’t get it, do you…”_** their voice sounded in Emery’s head, much softer than before. **_“None of them ever did, not until it got too close to the end. None of them realized what it would be like for me to watch them end, to have to continue on in solitude with only memories left behind. A cheerful voice and a few jokes was all it took to take the guilt from them and I’ve shouldered that weight faithfully. I pledged to always bring them with me wherever I went for as long as I could. Do you know how many lives I carry with me? How many memories of those long gone?”_** It took Emery a moment to recognize they were being asked a direct question. Mortemer’s eyes had risen from the floor to look at Emery, though they were still dull and covered in the sparkle of unshed tears. “Because I can’t even remember anymore,” they wailed, bringing their hands up to grasp at the sides of their head as they rocked back and forth. By the time Emery noted that Mortemer had spoken out loud for the first time since they found them here, they had already pulled Mortemer into their lap, muttering soft noises as they gently coaxed their hands away from the tight grip they had on their fur. 

It didn’t take long to move get them from being plastered to the wall to being curled into a ball in Emery’s lap but in that space of time, they had started crying. Dark tear tracks making their way down the light colours of their mask as they sobbed, burying their face in Emery’s chest and wrapping their arms around their back. Emery didn’t know how long they sat there, rubbing slow, soothing circles into their friend’s back. At some point, Mortemer’s sobs had turned into hiccups before finally fading away into soft breaths. Eventually, Emery registered that they had fallen asleep after tiring themselves out from the panic that must have been going on for a good while before Emery had even arrived. Taking yet another deep breath, they carefully scooped their friend up and flicked off the lights as they gently moved into their shared living area. They set Mortemer down for a moment on one of the arm chairs before moving to the kitchen to get two glasses of water for them. They quietly set the glasses down on the coffee table and picked Mortemer up again, moving back to the center of the room and settling them into the comfortable couch there. Emery made sure to lay Mortemer down in such a way that they could rest with their head on Emery’s lap before laying their own head back against the plush backing of the couch. Mortemer had always seemed so cheerful that one they insisted that their past wasn’t important, Aster and Emery had both accepted the excuses, not wanting to push any boundaries that didn’t need to be pushed. _‘Clearly, we were wrong.’_ Emery thought, sighing quietly. They would have to bring this up with Aster in the morning so they could all talk about this as a group. Emery glanced down at their friend’s sleeping form for a moment then let their head drop back to the couch cushions. A few minutes later, Emery fell asleep to Mortemer’s soft breathing, the moonlight bathing the two in a soft glow as they slept, taking simple comfort in each other’s presence.


End file.
